lederhosen

Via

sclerotic_rings, this article about caviar smuggling - if reading about the crooks who run the business doesn't turn you off eating caviar, the descriptions of how it's transported might.

Not that I have one, but I have a shuffleable library. Have snipped the artist names since it's more fun that way, and I'll admit to reshuffling a few non sequiturs.

1.) What do you think of me?
"What's it to you/If I feel now.../What's it to you/This noise noise"

2.) Will I have a happy life?
"Hurt once and for all into silence/A long pain ending without a song to prove it."

Memo to self: given the makeup of my musical library, maybe I should've stuck with cartomancy.

3.) What do my friends really think of me?
"Memories, sharp as daggers/ Pierce into the flesh of today/ Suicide of love took away all that matters/ And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart."

...Or belomancy.

4.) Do people secretly lust after me?
"The rest you need/ For just one kiss/ How could you know/ You'd pay the price?"

FWIW, the price usually involves brushing my hair.

5.) How can I make myself happy?
Mostly-instrumental track with frenetic violin and glockenspiel, but there's something in there about "scheming brains". Or maybe "screaming brains". It's all good.

6.) What should I do with my life?
"There's a hole in the ladder, a fence we can climb/ Mad as a hatter, you're thin as a dime/ Go out to the meadow, the hills are a-green/ Sing me a rainbow, steal me a dream."

7.) Why must life be so full of pain?
"Die Wahrheit ist wie ein Gewitter/ es kommt zu dir du kannst es hören/ es kund zu tun ist ach so bitter/ es kommt zu dir um zu zerstören."

8.) Will I ever have children?
...and 112 minutes of silence supposed to be Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Maybe the band name's supposed to be the answer.

9.) Will I die happy?
"Now they can all sleep soundly/ And everything is all right."

Yay for selective quoting.

10.) Can you give me some advice?
"No-one needs anyone, they don't even just pretend."

11.)What do you think happiness is?
"I've seen the same nightmare in all our dreams/ But now it's come to Earth in search of us/ And through treachery, we are found/ So we must pray to the maker of all things/ And wait for the storm to come."

...Or haruspicy.

12.) What's my favorite fetish?
"Huete treff ich einen Herrn/ Der hat mich zum Fressen gern/ Weiche Teile und auch harte/ stehen auf der Speisekarte."

Er, no. There are some appropriate German songs on my playlist, but that is most definitely not one of them.

13.) How will I be remembered?
"Remember the pen that I saw on the table/ I ate it when no one was watching/ Now I open my mouth and the pen's here again/ Their security's ripe for the botching/ I'll use it to pick the lock/ And mutilate both of these cops/ Though it's not Halloween I've concocted a plan/ I'll escape from this prison by wearing a man!"