AvP

[lederhosen]

reynardo - and I emphasise, reynardo - rented 'Alien vs. Predator', so we watched it while I exercised. Listing the Things That Made No Sense would be like shooting fish in a barrel, so I won't. And it's a good thing we weren't watching it in a cinema, because I'd have been thrown out very quickly for saying "Bing!" every time something I predicted duly came to pass. But I will say this:

The Predators apparently went to a lot of time and effort to construct a complex that is, in effect, a fancy-ass Laserzone arena. Except that only three Predators play at a time. And you have to wait a hundred years between games.

This leads me inevitably to the conclusion that the Predators must have truly amazingly, incredibly, mindbogglingly dull lives the rest of the time to make this worth the effort. Just imagine: that poor bastard Arnie kills in the first movie probably spent decades answering the phones on helpdesk to pay for his ticket to Earth. This also explains why the Predators never, ever win, despite stacking the odds so heavily in their favour - after a few hours or days of glory they let themselves die at the hands of a cooperative 'target', because it's that or get back on the company spacebus at the end of the tour to return to the old nine-to-five-million.

Something to think about next time you call helpdesk, eh?

Comments

[shadow-5tails.livejournal.com]

Watched it while you exercised.

I snerk at your elliptical-ness from the other side of the hemisphere.