I don't get it.

[lederhosen]

I don't get all the fuss about the 'Open Source Boob Project' business.

Don't get me wrong, I agree that it's skeezy and obnoxious and all. I just don't get why Some Guy On LJ being skeezy at a con is suddenly provoking such a flurry of posting, because my understanding is that there are lots of skeezy people on LJ - quite a few of whom go to cons - and generally it doesn't attract anywhere near this level of attention. If it was Orson Scott Card or somebody else famous (or even Brendan Nelson) I could understand, but not this.

(I think what this boils down to is that a lot of people seem to view the originator of the concept as a Somebody, and I've never figured out what makes him any more noteworthy than all the other folk on LJ who have opinions and aren't afraid to post them. Therefore I just write him off under the "lots of people are idiots" umbrella category.)

Comments

[ambitious-wench.livejournal.com]

Er. sorry. I jumped down your throat and I apologise. I miss-read your comment. You weren't talking about people who don't want to see breasts being fondled in public spaces.

Still and all, I do find your assertion that people who don't like to be touched as "passive aggressive" is rather unfair. Some of us carry baggage, and we deal with it as best we can. I've dealt with mine, and have come to the point where I can accept that some folks are willing to negotiate such an exchange. That's them, not me. And while that can be perceived as prudish, it's a long way from where I used to be. I have a RIGHT not to be subjected to it in a public space.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

I can maybe see a right not to be asked, although I think that's going a bit far. A right not to *see* it is *insane*.

[ambitious-wench.livejournal.com]

So I'm insane for not wanting to put up with seeing breasts being fondled against my will?

No. I'm not.

It's a matter of context. If I want to see dominance and submission games I'll go to an SM/BD club. I don't want to see it at an SF/F con.

And I don't want people like you at them because of that very reason; You're going to make me uncomfortable. You're a trap I won't walk into.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

'Put up with seeing?' Are you *listening* to yourself?

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

What's wrong with choosing not to be a party-by-proxy to sexual behaviour? I don't exactly consider it assault, but I don't want to see it either, unless I explicitly choose to. What's "insane" about that?

[hpapillon.livejournal.com]

It's a matter of context. If you go to a packed nightclub, you probably expect you're going to see some drunken behavior and some bumping-and-grinding, yes? Whereas you would be quite surprised to see people dancing wildly and sexually together in the middle of a bookstore, and they'd probably be asked to leave.

Many geek conventions have a strong perviness element. Men are walking around in tiny French Maid dresses. Women are walking around wearing nothing but liquid latex or tape. Girls and boys are dragging each other on leashes. Furries are wearing their suits. By a lot of standards this is already sexual behavior.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

That may be true (not at any sci-fi con I've been too, but I admit my sample is not large or North American), but I would also not expect to see explicit sexual behaviour (and I'm sorry, feeling up someone's tits is) in that kind of public context. I agree that fetishwear can be confronting, but if you're expecting it, fine. Most cons do have a well-known culture of "dressing up".

But if there is going to be sexual behaviour, I'd rather be prepared for it. I attended a poly conference which happened to have no overt sexual behaviour, but it would have been fine if there were (up to a point). I would simply have gone elsewhere if something had started up that I wasn't willing to be a party to.

That was something I was prepared for, not a bunch of geeks deciding something amongst themselves, and then perhaps attempting to normalise that behaviour in that context - it can be very difficult for some people to assert themselves against certain kinds of peer pressure (although I'd agree that it's useful if people do learn to grow a pair and tell the breast-feelers to fuck off and find a room).