It Shouldn't Happen To A Dwarf
Oct. 26th, 2002 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lederhosenLast week, our heroes navigated the Maze of Death (TM) and after mapping its labyrinthine passages and attempting to fathom its mysteries, said 'bugger this' and returned to the entrance, there using brute force to open a supposedly one-way door before slaughtering the hobgoblin who sent us in there.
We proceeded upon our merry way, heading back towards the entrance (we were running low on spells), and ran into two young men equipped with leather armour and swords. A discussion followed:
"What do you think you're doing here?"
"What do _you_ think you're doing here?"
"We asked first."
"I don't think so."
"We're clearing out this mine for the guy who owns it."
"We're the owners."
"No you bloody aren't."
"Oh yes we are."
"Oh no you aren't..."
Eventually, being peace-loving types, we stomped off outside to rest and recover before returning to the mines and exploring a few side passages. Still accompanied by two remaining Kobold-Friends.
In the first one, we find a large room through which runs a small underground river - there's even a boat tethered at a small jetty. More pertinently, there is a sleeping hobgoblin in far corner of the room. Still not sure what the whole deal was with this "Maze of Death" thingy, so stealthier members of the party (i.e. everybody except Andrew) decide to sneak up on hobgoblin and subdue him for purpose of interrogation. Plan: hit him with the flats of our blades.
Almost there, when something from the river splashes us with water (surprisingly, dwarf does not run screaming despite well-known fear of water.) Fail a Move Silently roll, and the hobgoblin awakes. We all roll for initiative, and Andrew (having a high roll) promptly subdues hobgoblin with an arrow between the eyes. Really must explain this whole "subdue and interrogate" concept to him one of these days. Have noticed that it is invariably a bad thing when Andy wins Initiative roll; alas, he has highest Initiative modifier in the party.
Investigate splashy thing from river. Turns out to be two cute little otters. Awwww. Consider taking boat, but is too small for all four of us, and river is too rapid for us to get back upstream. Ginormous bell rings, Kobold-Friends run off in panic. Boat travels upstream with no apparent means of propulsion. Weird, but what can we do about it?
Head off to investigate very rusty door previously spotted elsewhere in dungeon. Along way, meet annoying twosome again. Get to door, expend considerable amount of effort prying it open to discover annoying twosome on other side of door. Repeat of previous conversation, lots of sophisticated property-law discussions which amount to variants on "finders keepers" and "we outnumber you". Eventually fall back on "if you don't get out of our way and let us do our job, we shall be obliged to use force."
Situation degenerates rapidly. Rationalise ensuing actions as self-defence. Suspect deceased gentlemen might have friends around, so do _not_ strip them of armour and swords, only of small concealables.
Proceed down long corridor. Meet young lady wearing rather nice fur cloak thingy. More or less repeat of previous "whose mine is this anyway?" discussion. Eventually we agree to meet her mother, who supposedly owns this place.
She leads us to door, tells us to wait, goes through door. We wait for an hour, get bored, pick the lock and go through. Straight into spiked pit trap. Andrew falls, is only just caught and pulled out by party members. When distraction of pit trap passes, note three armed gentlemen plus aforementioned young lady looking most disapproving. One of them is holding sword to Cheleth's belly. Cheleth still only has 4 HP.
Tense negotiations follow: "Drop your weapon!" "Not until you let our friend go!"
Very regretfully embark on Ancient Elvish Breakdown-Of-Diplomacy Dance, in which scimitar playeth crucial role. Despite three opportunities, guy holding sword to Cheleth's belly completely fails to hit AC 11 sorceror.
Young lady turns into otter. This is a bit of a surprise, but in hindsight explains a few things about this place. Two of her fellows die rapidly. Unfortunately, were-otters in otter form have damage reduction against normal weapons, and we have nothing else (except Cheleth, who functions as walking Magic Missile battery.)
However, this is of no concern to yours truly, who rolls a critical hit followed by maximum damage, and inflicts last few points damage. Dead otter. Cheleth having run out of Magic Missiles, nails last guy with crossbow after Andrew repeatedly misses him. For weedy sorceror type, Cheleth is definitely pulling his weight. However, were-otter has badly mauled Ric. DM requests a Fortitude save for Ric, which he fails, yet no immediate consequences apparent.
Have a BAD feeling about this. Especially considering how Ric feels about water.
Loot bodies, pleased to discover silver dagger on one. Less pleased to see somebody looking at us from corridor up ahead. Decide to beat hasty retreat; unfortunately, this involves crossing a river in which wait four more were-otters.
Fight proceeds. Most of fellow party members end up with otters attached to them, inflicting heavy damage. Would be comical if not for possibility of grievous injury to self. Other party members fight bravely, but hampered by aforementioned damage resistance.
Am only member of party with silver dagger. Attack otters bravely, round after round. Rolls: 2, 4, 3, 5, 2, or something equally appalling. Ric is down and unconscious. Cheleth nearly so. Andrew not at all well. Otters repeatedly attack self, but miss every single time - still the prettiest.
In frustration, hand silver dagger to Andrew (who is fighter, with much better attack and damage bonuses.) Andrew rolls 2, then - along with Cheleth - is bitten unconscious by ravenous were-otters. Am only party member still conscious, and have not scratched any of these beasts. (On bright side, have not been scratched either.)
Grab silver dagger from Andrew's hand and run for it, leading otters upon a merry chase away from unconscious party members. On way, run into Kobold-Friends again. Encourage them to run with me (especially since, should were-otters be catching up, can easily outrun Kobold-Friends. Actually getting quite fond of the little blighters, and wouldn't intentionally endanger them, but not much option at this point.)
Outrun otters and escape from mine into light of day. Recall that cure for lycanthropy involves feeding victims copious quantities of belladonna. Search for belladonna with aid of Kobold-Friends. ("This what you need?" "No, that is what we call 'dandelion'.") No luck. Some hours later, Andrew and Cheleth recover consciousness and carry Ric out of dungeon. By now, too late to feed them belladonna anyway; head back into town, casting healing spells all the way. Judging by results of Fortitude saves, Ric and Andrew are both infected with lycanthropy. Apply various folk remedies to their wounds; probably doesn't check lycanthropy, but immensely satisfying nonetheless.
Get back to town alive (minus Kobold-Friends, who were persuaded that town would probably not be kobold-friendly, and decamped with surprisingly small amount of stolen property.) Level up. More hit points, yay! Extra Feat, yay! Level 2 spells, yay! More skill points to spend on Diplomacy, yay! Maybe will be even more successful in peaceful negotiation than hitherto.
Wonder whether it would be a mercy to dwarf to quietly stab him to death with silver dagger before he finds himself turning into an otter at the full moon.
Afterthought: did not set anything on fire this session. Probably accounts for poor outcome. Will remember to set things on fire next time.
Afterthought #2: must go back and search otter-lady's pockets and see if, when she bought that dagger, she happened to keep the receipt.
We proceeded upon our merry way, heading back towards the entrance (we were running low on spells), and ran into two young men equipped with leather armour and swords. A discussion followed:
"What do you think you're doing here?"
"What do _you_ think you're doing here?"
"We asked first."
"I don't think so."
"We're clearing out this mine for the guy who owns it."
"We're the owners."
"No you bloody aren't."
"Oh yes we are."
"Oh no you aren't..."
Eventually, being peace-loving types, we stomped off outside to rest and recover before returning to the mines and exploring a few side passages. Still accompanied by two remaining Kobold-Friends.
In the first one, we find a large room through which runs a small underground river - there's even a boat tethered at a small jetty. More pertinently, there is a sleeping hobgoblin in far corner of the room. Still not sure what the whole deal was with this "Maze of Death" thingy, so stealthier members of the party (i.e. everybody except Andrew) decide to sneak up on hobgoblin and subdue him for purpose of interrogation. Plan: hit him with the flats of our blades.
Almost there, when something from the river splashes us with water (surprisingly, dwarf does not run screaming despite well-known fear of water.) Fail a Move Silently roll, and the hobgoblin awakes. We all roll for initiative, and Andrew (having a high roll) promptly subdues hobgoblin with an arrow between the eyes. Really must explain this whole "subdue and interrogate" concept to him one of these days. Have noticed that it is invariably a bad thing when Andy wins Initiative roll; alas, he has highest Initiative modifier in the party.
Investigate splashy thing from river. Turns out to be two cute little otters. Awwww. Consider taking boat, but is too small for all four of us, and river is too rapid for us to get back upstream. Ginormous bell rings, Kobold-Friends run off in panic. Boat travels upstream with no apparent means of propulsion. Weird, but what can we do about it?
Head off to investigate very rusty door previously spotted elsewhere in dungeon. Along way, meet annoying twosome again. Get to door, expend considerable amount of effort prying it open to discover annoying twosome on other side of door. Repeat of previous conversation, lots of sophisticated property-law discussions which amount to variants on "finders keepers" and "we outnumber you". Eventually fall back on "if you don't get out of our way and let us do our job, we shall be obliged to use force."
Situation degenerates rapidly. Rationalise ensuing actions as self-defence. Suspect deceased gentlemen might have friends around, so do _not_ strip them of armour and swords, only of small concealables.
Proceed down long corridor. Meet young lady wearing rather nice fur cloak thingy. More or less repeat of previous "whose mine is this anyway?" discussion. Eventually we agree to meet her mother, who supposedly owns this place.
She leads us to door, tells us to wait, goes through door. We wait for an hour, get bored, pick the lock and go through. Straight into spiked pit trap. Andrew falls, is only just caught and pulled out by party members. When distraction of pit trap passes, note three armed gentlemen plus aforementioned young lady looking most disapproving. One of them is holding sword to Cheleth's belly. Cheleth still only has 4 HP.
Tense negotiations follow: "Drop your weapon!" "Not until you let our friend go!"
Very regretfully embark on Ancient Elvish Breakdown-Of-Diplomacy Dance, in which scimitar playeth crucial role. Despite three opportunities, guy holding sword to Cheleth's belly completely fails to hit AC 11 sorceror.
Young lady turns into otter. This is a bit of a surprise, but in hindsight explains a few things about this place. Two of her fellows die rapidly. Unfortunately, were-otters in otter form have damage reduction against normal weapons, and we have nothing else (except Cheleth, who functions as walking Magic Missile battery.)
However, this is of no concern to yours truly, who rolls a critical hit followed by maximum damage, and inflicts last few points damage. Dead otter. Cheleth having run out of Magic Missiles, nails last guy with crossbow after Andrew repeatedly misses him. For weedy sorceror type, Cheleth is definitely pulling his weight. However, were-otter has badly mauled Ric. DM requests a Fortitude save for Ric, which he fails, yet no immediate consequences apparent.
Have a BAD feeling about this. Especially considering how Ric feels about water.
Loot bodies, pleased to discover silver dagger on one. Less pleased to see somebody looking at us from corridor up ahead. Decide to beat hasty retreat; unfortunately, this involves crossing a river in which wait four more were-otters.
Fight proceeds. Most of fellow party members end up with otters attached to them, inflicting heavy damage. Would be comical if not for possibility of grievous injury to self. Other party members fight bravely, but hampered by aforementioned damage resistance.
Am only member of party with silver dagger. Attack otters bravely, round after round. Rolls: 2, 4, 3, 5, 2, or something equally appalling. Ric is down and unconscious. Cheleth nearly so. Andrew not at all well. Otters repeatedly attack self, but miss every single time - still the prettiest.
In frustration, hand silver dagger to Andrew (who is fighter, with much better attack and damage bonuses.) Andrew rolls 2, then - along with Cheleth - is bitten unconscious by ravenous were-otters. Am only party member still conscious, and have not scratched any of these beasts. (On bright side, have not been scratched either.)
Grab silver dagger from Andrew's hand and run for it, leading otters upon a merry chase away from unconscious party members. On way, run into Kobold-Friends again. Encourage them to run with me (especially since, should were-otters be catching up, can easily outrun Kobold-Friends. Actually getting quite fond of the little blighters, and wouldn't intentionally endanger them, but not much option at this point.)
Outrun otters and escape from mine into light of day. Recall that cure for lycanthropy involves feeding victims copious quantities of belladonna. Search for belladonna with aid of Kobold-Friends. ("This what you need?" "No, that is what we call 'dandelion'.") No luck. Some hours later, Andrew and Cheleth recover consciousness and carry Ric out of dungeon. By now, too late to feed them belladonna anyway; head back into town, casting healing spells all the way. Judging by results of Fortitude saves, Ric and Andrew are both infected with lycanthropy. Apply various folk remedies to their wounds; probably doesn't check lycanthropy, but immensely satisfying nonetheless.
Get back to town alive (minus Kobold-Friends, who were persuaded that town would probably not be kobold-friendly, and decamped with surprisingly small amount of stolen property.) Level up. More hit points, yay! Extra Feat, yay! Level 2 spells, yay! More skill points to spend on Diplomacy, yay! Maybe will be even more successful in peaceful negotiation than hitherto.
Wonder whether it would be a mercy to dwarf to quietly stab him to death with silver dagger before he finds himself turning into an otter at the full moon.
Afterthought: did not set anything on fire this session. Probably accounts for poor outcome. Will remember to set things on fire next time.
Afterthought #2: must go back and search otter-lady's pockets and see if, when she bought that dagger, she happened to keep the receipt.
