So many to choose from

[lederhosen]

Meme ganked from silmaril:


Write about Top Five Fictional Characters You'd Like to Punch in the Face.

1. Jaheira, Baldur's Gate I & II. Some enterprising soul once created a 'poly patch' for BGII that allowed you to pursue romances with Jaheira, Aerie, and Viconia all at once, which is pretty much my idea of hell, because none of those characters passed my first test: "Would this really be better than celibacy?"

Viconia is an evil priestess of a goddess of destruction, with (naturally enough) serious trust issues. Aerie is whiny, and basically a child. Jaheira goes from a shrew who belittles her husband at every opportunity to a widow to an insecure type who throws a fit if you detach her from the party even for a moment. (It's a damn good thing these games don't require you to go to the bathroom.) It was hard to pick the most annoying one, but I resolved it by remembering that neither of the others repeatedly attempted to have Deep And Meaningful Relationship Discussions with me while I was trying to sneak up on a dragon.

2. Lestat, for being an insufferable narcissistic git and turning an initially-interesting story into a bloated authorial love-in. Not to mention all the wannabes he inspired.

3. Anakin Skywalker. And while I'm at it, Amidala, for having atrocious taste in men.

4. Ayla, from Clan of the Cave Bear, for being the mother of all Mary Sues.

5. Cthulhu, for the bragging rights.

A dishonourable mention goes to Jubal Harshaw from Stranger in a Strange Land, on behalf of all Authorial Mouthpiece Characters in Heinlein's books.

Comments

[fluffy-cloud.livejournal.com]

I always considered Lestat to be very Mary Sue-ish for a vampire.

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

Horrifically so. I liked the first book-and-a-half of the series, right up until the focus switched from Louis to Lestat, and it was all downhill from there.

[waitingman.livejournal.com]

Especially once the Mayfair witches crossed over into the Vampire Chronicles. Dear oh dear oh dear...

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

I bailed out before that point, thankfully.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

Jaheira: Oh, my, yes, and thank you.
Anakin: Heh. I guess he didn't pass my "too easy" filter, but you're the second totally unrelated person who picked the meme for me and included him. Good reasons abound.
I had also forgotten my most-irritating-Mary-Sue, Jaenealle or however you spell your name from Anne Bishop's somethingsomething trilogy that involves gemstones (yeah, I know that was very clear). But brain working at low RPM nowadays.

[remus-shepherd.livejournal.com]

See, I was thinking Lazarus Long for the Heinlein Authorial Mouthpiece Character. Just as satisfying as Harshaw, but Lazarus would have given you even more bragging rights. :)

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

Lack of exposure, mostly - all I've read of Lazarus Long has been in other people's quotefiles. Though if the quotefiles are anything to go by, that's just as well... I like some of his lines, but a story written purely to showcase those lines gets dull fast.

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Aww, I always liked Jaheira. She was the base model for every true-neutral character I've played since.

I especially loved her condescending explanation of hit points to Aerie. }:P

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

I missed that bit - how did it go?

[terrycloth.livejournal.com]

Something like,
"You need to be more careful. I have more experience than you, and a wound that would be a mere inconvenience to me could threaten your life."

[hobnobs.livejournal.com]

>Viconia is an evil priestess of a goddess of destruction, with (naturally enough) serious trust issues

I dunno, this describes a fair few of the women I know. ;)

Anyway, whilst Aerie would whine even more (and hopefully run away), and Jaheira would start harping on about how Khalid never hit her (yes, but he's dead now, and probably happy about it), you *know* that Viconia would punch you in the face right back. I can respect that. :)

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

yes, but he's dead now, and probably happy about it

My first reaction when I found his corpse early in BGII was "So he finally topped himself"...

Viconia, I think, would be less likely to hit back than to wait until you fell asleep nefore getting revenge.

[thette.livejournal.com]

"And - _Lestat_, for god's sake. You mentioned _Lestat_. It's like Godwin's law for goths." --DurAnorak on LiveJournal