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Of course, you know this means war.
Mar. 13th, 2002 12:33 pmThe Very Secret Diary of Yelyena Karlovich
Note: even less factual than might be expected.
Day 1
Am in Moscow. Is beautiful city. Steeped in history and culture.
Day 2
First snows of winter today. V. romantic. Must see landlord about having heater fixed.
Day 4
Wonderful view of Moscow from my window. Minarets v. pretty. Have begun photographing them.
Day 7
Front door is frozen shut. Spent day reading Popov until got depressed, then back to photography.
Minarets photographed today: 8. V. good.
Day 12
Door still frozen shut.
Day 18
Bloody Moscow. Snow, dark, cold, vodka, more snow. V. dull. Total minarets photographed: 28.
Day 22
Climbed out window, dug snow away from door. Discovered landlord in snow, enormous hickeys on neck. Ewww.
Day 23
Have met nice gentleman, name Lazar. Somewhat eccentric, but not dull. Electric shocks not so bad when alternative is looking out window counting bloody minarets again.
Day 28
Lazar says he has special surprise for me tonight. Wonder if he is going to try to kiss me.
Day 29
Lazar's surprise not at all what I expected. Landlord's hickeys suddenly making more sense.
Day 40
Am thinking being vampire would be somewhat fun. After all, enjoy biting people.
Day 58
Argh! Bloody Leporello! Am damn Ventrue!
Day 63
Secretly wish was Brujah, or maybe Toreador. They have best dress codes. Will belittle them publicly so nobody suspects this of me.
People bitten today: 3. V. good.
Day 140
Prince Gregor is so dreamy. Wonder if he fancies me.
Day 296
Have been sent on 'team-building' exercise with other newbie vampires. Given choice between dodging bullets in Bosnia and building contraption to drop eggs from height without breaking eggs.
Team unanimously votes for Bosnia. Go me!
Day 311
Need attack helicopter to make suitably dramatic entry. If only had rank in military, or KGB.
Day 314
Have found KGB badge in cereal packet. Is only plastic, but will fool local yokels.
Wonder if Kanazh is still thinking of me?
Day 318
Have stumbled across cafe in middle of war-torn Bosnia. Is full of furry types who do not want to eat me, which is nice change.
Had to do blindfolded 'trust walk' with other team-mates today. Privately resolve never to trust them again.
Day 412
Still in Bosnia. Beginning to miss minarets. At least cafe is nice, quiet place and rest of team do not bother me here. Have taken to stealing soap from cafe toilets and placing it in Carl's pockets, in hope that he will take hint.
Am considering writing book on removing mud stains from clothes.
Day 450
New Brujah is in cafe. Is colossal idiot. Resolve to mock him at every opportunity. Secretly, rather envy his clothes.
Day 512
Still in cafe. Has been night since last entry. Trying not to think too hard about this.
Day 522
Discover that Brujah is oroboten kinfolk. Explains the long hair. Sing the 'My Dog Has Fleas' song until he gets very cross.
Pub patron demonstrates very nice staplegun. Add to Christmas wish-list.
Day 525
Minarets photos paid off! Have been commissioned to take photos for something called 'Men of NoCo'.
Day 538
Have decided to add chapter on removing fire-extinguisher foam from clothes. Cafe's patronage have migrated to pub.
Day 544
Also, chapter on removing werewolf foam from clothes.
Kanazh never writes. Am feeling most miffed.
Day 565
Infested with Glist-thing. Possesses psyche, makes me ravenous monster. On plus side, decorative skin-effects rather pretty. Maybe Toreador will like me now.
Day 588
Got rid of Glist. Infested by psyche of Sabbat vampire I accidentally diablerized. V. annoying, as keeps writing rude notes in diary and subscribing to Backstreet Boys fanzine in my name.
Day 602
Attempted to eat Brujah. Somehow ended up dating him instead (suspect dead oroboten girlfriend of setting us up.) Extremely confusing, but not all bad. Resolve to steal his best shirts.
Note: even less factual than might be expected.
Day 1
Am in Moscow. Is beautiful city. Steeped in history and culture.
Day 2
First snows of winter today. V. romantic. Must see landlord about having heater fixed.
Day 4
Wonderful view of Moscow from my window. Minarets v. pretty. Have begun photographing them.
Day 7
Front door is frozen shut. Spent day reading Popov until got depressed, then back to photography.
Minarets photographed today: 8. V. good.
Day 12
Door still frozen shut.
Day 18
Bloody Moscow. Snow, dark, cold, vodka, more snow. V. dull. Total minarets photographed: 28.
Day 22
Climbed out window, dug snow away from door. Discovered landlord in snow, enormous hickeys on neck. Ewww.
Day 23
Have met nice gentleman, name Lazar. Somewhat eccentric, but not dull. Electric shocks not so bad when alternative is looking out window counting bloody minarets again.
Day 28
Lazar says he has special surprise for me tonight. Wonder if he is going to try to kiss me.
Day 29
Lazar's surprise not at all what I expected. Landlord's hickeys suddenly making more sense.
Day 40
Am thinking being vampire would be somewhat fun. After all, enjoy biting people.
Day 58
Argh! Bloody Leporello! Am damn Ventrue!
Day 63
Secretly wish was Brujah, or maybe Toreador. They have best dress codes. Will belittle them publicly so nobody suspects this of me.
People bitten today: 3. V. good.
Day 140
Prince Gregor is so dreamy. Wonder if he fancies me.
Day 296
Have been sent on 'team-building' exercise with other newbie vampires. Given choice between dodging bullets in Bosnia and building contraption to drop eggs from height without breaking eggs.
Team unanimously votes for Bosnia. Go me!
Day 311
Need attack helicopter to make suitably dramatic entry. If only had rank in military, or KGB.
Day 314
Have found KGB badge in cereal packet. Is only plastic, but will fool local yokels.
Wonder if Kanazh is still thinking of me?
Day 318
Have stumbled across cafe in middle of war-torn Bosnia. Is full of furry types who do not want to eat me, which is nice change.
Had to do blindfolded 'trust walk' with other team-mates today. Privately resolve never to trust them again.
Day 412
Still in Bosnia. Beginning to miss minarets. At least cafe is nice, quiet place and rest of team do not bother me here. Have taken to stealing soap from cafe toilets and placing it in Carl's pockets, in hope that he will take hint.
Am considering writing book on removing mud stains from clothes.
Day 450
New Brujah is in cafe. Is colossal idiot. Resolve to mock him at every opportunity. Secretly, rather envy his clothes.
Day 512
Still in cafe. Has been night since last entry. Trying not to think too hard about this.
Day 522
Discover that Brujah is oroboten kinfolk. Explains the long hair. Sing the 'My Dog Has Fleas' song until he gets very cross.
Pub patron demonstrates very nice staplegun. Add to Christmas wish-list.
Day 525
Minarets photos paid off! Have been commissioned to take photos for something called 'Men of NoCo'.
Day 538
Have decided to add chapter on removing fire-extinguisher foam from clothes. Cafe's patronage have migrated to pub.
Day 544
Also, chapter on removing werewolf foam from clothes.
Kanazh never writes. Am feeling most miffed.
Day 565
Infested with Glist-thing. Possesses psyche, makes me ravenous monster. On plus side, decorative skin-effects rather pretty. Maybe Toreador will like me now.
Day 588
Got rid of Glist. Infested by psyche of Sabbat vampire I accidentally diablerized. V. annoying, as keeps writing rude notes in diary and subscribing to Backstreet Boys fanzine in my name.
Day 602
Attempted to eat Brujah. Somehow ended up dating him instead (suspect dead oroboten girlfriend of setting us up.) Extremely confusing, but not all bad. Resolve to steal his best shirts.
