Toy-boys

[lederhosen]

I don't usually bother passing comment on either celebrities or Miranda Devine, but this article annoyed me.

Not the comments on Germaine Greer. Unless the article has badly misrepresented her, her behaviour is foolish at the very least. What really pisses me off is this:

Hence we have almost-boomer Demi Moore, buff at 40, as she shows off her toy boy, Ashton Kutcher, 25, giving inspiration to all the Botox-laden, youth-chasing old ladies out there who insist on "growing old disgracefully"

I'm no particular fan of either Moore or Kutcher; I can't remember the last time I saw either of them in a film. But the assumption that a 15-year age gap makes him some kind of 'toy' is crass and offensive.

When I was 21, I had a relationship with a 35-year-old woman. And oh, the number of people who *assumed* that she was taking advantage of me. Or that I was taking advantage of her. Or both, simultaneously, however *that's* supposed to work. I heard the expression "toy-boy" more than once, although I think it offended Diane more than me.

Because, you know, two people born more than ten years apart couldn't *possibly* have anything in common. Like shared interests, or compatible personalities, or whatnot. So obviously she was after me as a way of fending off old age, and I was after her for, I don't know, money or something. The truth is, the age gap really didn't matter very much to us - we liked one another, we got along well, that was that.

I have no interest in defending Greer's behaviour (at least, not unless it turns out Ms. Devine has misrepresented it). But if a 25-year-old man enjoys the company of a 40-year-old woman, good luck to them both. He's old enough to look after himself.

Comments

[tcpip.livejournal.com]

*APPLAUSE*

You know what I really can't stand - those generalized motivations that people make that you listed.

Here is the only rule which applies whether there is a 0 year age gap, a plus or minus 15 year age gap or whatever:

All relationships are unique.

End of fscking story.

[frou-frou.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell, Greer has published a book with photographic depictions of attractive young boys.

I may be wrong, but no where have I seen her promoting sex with children, her subjects included (although her quote about sperm is suggestive, but surely we're talking pubescent at least?), so I suspect that Ms Devine has gone a little off the deep end - and an indication of this might be her correlation of Ms Moore's bonking a man of 25 with the sexualisation of 8 year olds (especially her daughter).

An emotional over-reaction, common amongst the very baby boomers she decries for their desire to 'break taboos' and 'have fun'.

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

I may be wrong, but no where have I seen her promoting sex with children, her subjects included (although her quote about sperm is suggestive, but surely we're talking pubescent at least?)

Hard to tell. The quote doesn't *look* good, but I've learned to be very wary of short sound bites from people like Miranda Devine. Who really should have stayed on the Telegraph, where she belonged...

I notice she didn't pick on Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon (17 years), maybe because nobody could pretend that was a 'toy-boy' relationship. Nor, of course, the umpty-dozen cases where the difference works the other way.

Spring-winter relationships

[ambitious-wench.livejournal.com]

I am 11 years older than my beloved Techi. I've had relationships with people about that age older than me, as well. One of the things that amazes me is that our culture seems to frown on wide age gaps between all pairings. Men with younger women are "dirty old men".

How idiotic--it's when you are with someone of a different age that you learn more.

Techi keeps me young. I have experience that she draws on.

Motivations differ, and no doubt there are people out there who specificaly do seek out younger partners for unhealthy reasons. But do not paint us all with the same brush!

Edie