Only on Ebay...
May. 10th, 2004 12:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lederhosenThanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sclerotic_rings, this auction:
Enough "Star Trek" Books To Get Anyone Laid
Up for auction: twenty pounds of "Star Trek" books. They're old. They're out of print. And unbeknownst to many, they possess special powers.
With ordinary women, I can show them around my bookshelves and say, "Look, see, there's Carl Jung, and Thomas Pynchon, and Henry Miller, and there's even David Foster Wallace, but he's such a suck-ass poseur, I can't believe anyone's actually fooled by him," and all goes well until they see these five feet of shelf-space devoted to antique Trek volumes; I might as well have left a Viagra prescription on the counter, or hung up a blinking neon sign that says, "Get your genital warts here!" But boy howdy ... when you're at a convention, and you mention to a woman in a Troi uniform about owning such a fine collection of vintage, out-of-print paperbacks, she'll whisper in your ear, "Mount me, you stud trekkie!" and the two of you will be doing the Vulcan Groin Meld all night long.
This collection has been in my possession for eighteen years. They've been Spanish Fly for female trekkies, and they've been silently upsetting the sexual balance of nature within the Trek community for over a decade. Wondering why you never saw any action at a convention between 1992 and 2003? This is why. You never stood a chance, as long as I've had these books. But I'm happy to report that I need them no longer. It's time to let their power fall into someone else's hands, and that someone else could be you.
This auction includes a lot of books. Over eighty of them, in fact. Enough rare, vintage "Star Trek" books to get you more Trekkie tail than Harcourt Fenton Mudd. Enough books so that I'm not going to type up a list of every title that's available. Instead, I'm providing some higher-resolution images (1 2 3 4 5, sorry about the glare), where you can see the titles and authors on the spines, and hopefully you can get the information you need from there. The conditions vary. Some of these books were bought used, so they have creased spines, dog-eared pages, et al. Others were purchased by my uber-geeky 16-year-old completist self, and maybe read once. You should be able to tell by the photo, and there are no ugly suprises (e.g., missing pages, missing covers, et al.)
These books are all pertinent to "ST:TOS" -- that's "Star Trek: The Original Show", for all you unscathed mortals out there. None of that "Joanie Loves Chachi" spinoff crap with a lowest-common denominator that's been asymptotically approaching one with the march of time. And before you ask: no, I didn't really read all this stuff, I just accumulated it like Imelda Marcos with shoes, put it on a shelf, and found out several years later that I could use it to get into female Trekkies' pants. And besides, really, who wants to read books with titles like "Spock, Messiah!"? (It's a rule of publishers everywhere: when in doubt about a book's quality, put an exclamation point in the title.)
If you have questions about any of the books: by all means, feel free to ask, but only so long as you're willing to accept, "Sorry, I'm too busy," for an answer. Not to say I'm writing you off: queries with quick answers, sure, I'm happy to help, but if you're one of those tight-assed, bow-tie-wearing collectors who wants edition numbers and page-color assessments and appraisal ratings for every individual Bantam-published volume predating 1982, then do us both a favor and save your electrons. We're all busy people here, hence the fire-n-forget auction. What you see is what you get. Besides, Trekkie chicks don't care about edition numbers or creased spines, trust me on this.
WHAT YOU GET: All the books pictured. Every single volume. My count is eighty-one, but I wasn't too careful. I can't make any other promises, but just to show that I'm a responsible fellow, I'll include a few free condoms.
And I notice the current bidder is one 'slytherin_darkrose'.
*looks pointedly atdarkrosetiger*
ION, also thanks tosclerotic_rings, the discovery that blue-ringed octopuses are neater than I thought. They don't make their venom themselves, they have bacteria in their salivary glands to do it for them.
sclerotic_rings, this auction:Enough "Star Trek" Books To Get Anyone Laid
Up for auction: twenty pounds of "Star Trek" books. They're old. They're out of print. And unbeknownst to many, they possess special powers.
With ordinary women, I can show them around my bookshelves and say, "Look, see, there's Carl Jung, and Thomas Pynchon, and Henry Miller, and there's even David Foster Wallace, but he's such a suck-ass poseur, I can't believe anyone's actually fooled by him," and all goes well until they see these five feet of shelf-space devoted to antique Trek volumes; I might as well have left a Viagra prescription on the counter, or hung up a blinking neon sign that says, "Get your genital warts here!" But boy howdy ... when you're at a convention, and you mention to a woman in a Troi uniform about owning such a fine collection of vintage, out-of-print paperbacks, she'll whisper in your ear, "Mount me, you stud trekkie!" and the two of you will be doing the Vulcan Groin Meld all night long.
This collection has been in my possession for eighteen years. They've been Spanish Fly for female trekkies, and they've been silently upsetting the sexual balance of nature within the Trek community for over a decade. Wondering why you never saw any action at a convention between 1992 and 2003? This is why. You never stood a chance, as long as I've had these books. But I'm happy to report that I need them no longer. It's time to let their power fall into someone else's hands, and that someone else could be you.
This auction includes a lot of books. Over eighty of them, in fact. Enough rare, vintage "Star Trek" books to get you more Trekkie tail than Harcourt Fenton Mudd. Enough books so that I'm not going to type up a list of every title that's available. Instead, I'm providing some higher-resolution images (1 2 3 4 5, sorry about the glare), where you can see the titles and authors on the spines, and hopefully you can get the information you need from there. The conditions vary. Some of these books were bought used, so they have creased spines, dog-eared pages, et al. Others were purchased by my uber-geeky 16-year-old completist self, and maybe read once. You should be able to tell by the photo, and there are no ugly suprises (e.g., missing pages, missing covers, et al.)
These books are all pertinent to "ST:TOS" -- that's "Star Trek: The Original Show", for all you unscathed mortals out there. None of that "Joanie Loves Chachi" spinoff crap with a lowest-common denominator that's been asymptotically approaching one with the march of time. And before you ask: no, I didn't really read all this stuff, I just accumulated it like Imelda Marcos with shoes, put it on a shelf, and found out several years later that I could use it to get into female Trekkies' pants. And besides, really, who wants to read books with titles like "Spock, Messiah!"? (It's a rule of publishers everywhere: when in doubt about a book's quality, put an exclamation point in the title.)
If you have questions about any of the books: by all means, feel free to ask, but only so long as you're willing to accept, "Sorry, I'm too busy," for an answer. Not to say I'm writing you off: queries with quick answers, sure, I'm happy to help, but if you're one of those tight-assed, bow-tie-wearing collectors who wants edition numbers and page-color assessments and appraisal ratings for every individual Bantam-published volume predating 1982, then do us both a favor and save your electrons. We're all busy people here, hence the fire-n-forget auction. What you see is what you get. Besides, Trekkie chicks don't care about edition numbers or creased spines, trust me on this.
WHAT YOU GET: All the books pictured. Every single volume. My count is eighty-one, but I wasn't too careful. I can't make any other promises, but just to show that I'm a responsible fellow, I'll include a few free condoms.
And I notice the current bidder is one 'slytherin_darkrose'.
*looks pointedly at
darkrosetiger*ION, also thanks to
sclerotic_rings, the discovery that blue-ringed octopuses are neater than I thought. They don't make their venom themselves, they have bacteria in their salivary glands to do it for them.
