lederhosen (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lederhosen) wrote2002-10-28 03:14 pm
lederhosen) wrote2002-10-28 03:14 pm
Singles.
Last night while Rey was tidying the bedroom (we have floor again!) she found a phone number for a friend who vanished a year ago. When we announced we were going to the USA on honeymoon he said he'd visit us there - then, after buying tickets, pulled out at the last minute. At the time, we thought it must be something very serious, but he obviously didn't want to tell us what, so we didn't press him.
Well, we called him last night and found out what the deal is. The man is 45, and split from his wife a few years back. Now he's done the "must not be single! Will ensure affection of girlfriend by abandoning all previous friendship and interest groups!" thing.
Gaaaaaah. I understand our phone call is going to cause him some trouble, and I'm not in the least bit sorry.
I know quite a few of my LJ friends are single. Some of you because you have certain minimum standards, and are getting on with life rather than wait for somebody to show up who meets those standards. Others because you have other passions that take priority in your life. And some because you just don't feel the _need_ to be partnered. I'd just like to say that you are all sensible people for understanding that you don't NEED a partner to make you a whole person. And that you don't need to give up your friends and interests for it, neither.
Oh, and if you ever do what this guy did, I will hunt you down and hurt you until you see sense. Or not hurt you, as applicable.
Well, we called him last night and found out what the deal is. The man is 45, and split from his wife a few years back. Now he's done the "must not be single! Will ensure affection of girlfriend by abandoning all previous friendship and interest groups!" thing.
Gaaaaaah. I understand our phone call is going to cause him some trouble, and I'm not in the least bit sorry.
I know quite a few of my LJ friends are single. Some of you because you have certain minimum standards, and are getting on with life rather than wait for somebody to show up who meets those standards. Others because you have other passions that take priority in your life. And some because you just don't feel the _need_ to be partnered. I'd just like to say that you are all sensible people for understanding that you don't NEED a partner to make you a whole person. And that you don't need to give up your friends and interests for it, neither.
Oh, and if you ever do what this guy did, I will hunt you down and hurt you until you see sense. Or not hurt you, as applicable.
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Or worse still, when they stay in the circle in a half-assed way. Ie, happily hang out with you and come to all events, but run/abandon/stand people up the moment any candidates tell them to jump so they can go and say "how high?".
Friends are NOT just a fill-in until something "better" comes along. grr.
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But that goes places I'm not sure I want to, and besides , I already have enough hobbies that don't pay for themselves...
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Such friends, if they are just friends, are priceless. It's nice to invite a friend up for dinner, movie and sex and know that the next day they'll kiss you goodbye and still be as good a friend. And if the evening ends up just being dinner movie and sleep, it doesn't matter either.
And it's nice to get cuddles.
It took me, however until I was 30 to realise there were worse things than to end up single. Good thing I did, too. If I'd met Geoffrey 10 years earlier, not only would he have been drastically underaged, but I wouldn't have been mature enough for him, either.
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What I need is friends for whom sex with me is a hobby, or better yet, a vocation.