lederhosen: (Default)
lederhosen ([personal profile] lederhosen) wrote2004-05-12 11:28 am

The horror, the horror...

(Completely unrelated snippet: one of the real estate agents we talked to last weekend was called "Atilla". And apologies for posting so much lately... have been feeling restless and stressed about various things.)

Culled from responses a recent post on [livejournal.com profile] bad_rpers_suck, some splendid examples of atrocious character description. The saddest part is that several of these are supposed to be advice on writing good description...



A gallery of bad descriptions. Not work-safe. Some of these squicked me.

DesertRealm's advice on 'advanced roleplaying'. Why describe somebody as 'female' when you can call them Matron, Matriarch, Paramour, Nymph, Banshee, Fairy, Inamorata, Diabla, Regina, Vixen, She-Devil, Ess, Seraph, Hellion, Donna, Elle, Maid, Maiden, Succubus, Demoness, Deviless, Xanthippe, Lady, Dame, Femme, Femme Fatale, Femmora, Enchantress, Seductress, Mistress, Female, Miss, Bruja, Temptress, Goddess, Queen, Dove, Damsel, Harlot, Madam, Beastian, Wench, Shrew, Princess, Baroness, Duchess, Virago, Doe, Pixy, Nixie, Naiad, Warrioress, Witch, Figurine, Hag, Wanton, Ignoble, Jade, Czaress, Kelpie, Sprite, Huntress, Femmoria, Femina, Lamia, Fatale, Brutale, Vixetta, Valkyrie, Lorelei, Femorette, Feminique, Tempest, Frau, Minx, or Jezebel?

(BTW, is it just me, or does 'Femorette' sound like a member of a forgettable '60s girl band?)

He grinned in gratification of the vegetation before him.

From Cerulean Falls... why 'walk' through a forest when you can 'percolate'? And while the neck can be referred to as a 'cervix', doing so outside a medical context is likely to attract odd looks.

In a similar vein, 'Now, tell me which sound more profesional?' And while you're there, stop to check out the home page... especially the scrollbar on the bottom left.

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