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[personal profile] lederhosen
I can't be bothered digging up the clip of Celine Dion covering AC/DC or the Twisted Sister Christmas Album, so instead some stuff that's actually good. I haven't heard the music but Mitch Benn's lyrics stand up on their own.

I know you think of me as someone to rely on,
A helping hand or just a shoulder to cry on,
Though I'm glad you feel that way,
There's something I should say:
I'm afraid I won't be there for you
This Saturday.

'Cause ...

Call me during Doctor Who and I'll KILL you,
Leave me in peace if you wanna survive,
As far as you're concerned I'm incommunicado,
Seven pm 'till seven forty-five.

I'm all yours again come Sunday morning,
Although my conversation may be rather boring,
All week long I swear I'll be as helpful as can be,
But Saturday night you'd better stay the hell away from me.

'Cause ...

Call me during Doctor Who and I'll KILL you,
Sixteen years I've been waiting for this,
Call me during Doctor Who and I'll KILL you,
Don't even think about ringing just to take the -

Call me during Doctor Who and I'll KILL you,
I'm not kidding, look me right in the face,
Call me during Doctor Who and I'll KILL you,
Saturday night I need some time and space.


I've always been a peaceful man
Spread joy and harmony wherever I can
Wars of words the only ones I have ever fought
I'm just not used to having these violent thoughts

But I may just have to murder James Blunt
He's an evil I know I must confront
I'm well aware he was in the military
But dragon ninja training couldn't save his scrawny ass from me.
And there's no court would convict me of a crime
'Cause if I have to hear 'you're beautiful' one more bloody time
Into the fiery pits of hell he will descend
I know 'his life is brilliant', but I may just have to bring it to an end.

Because his songs have two notes, they just go up and down
'Cause they don't have a tune, it just sounds like they do
If he keeps changing the chords 'till everybody gets bored
It's a repetitive hook, the oldest trick in the book.

That's why I have to murder James Blunt
He might sound better with his head on back to front
Before he cuts another disc the git must hang
He's the only man alive who is his own rhyming slang.
For the sake of us all I must act
Then I'll get Katie Melua as well and I'll make it look like a suicide pact
If you think this is a joke,
It isn't.
Oh god somebody stop me, before I murder James Blunt.

More here. And one of the better tribute songs I've seen in a long time, in memory of John Peel:

Let's have a minute's noise from all the girls and boys
Who understand that they lost a friend the other day 'cos
To have a minute's silence somehow would be wrong,
Let's have a minute's noise for John.

Let's have a minute's row from everyone remembering how
He soundtracked all our misspent youths
From Teenage Kicks right to Home Truths.
To stand in wordless contemplation's just not on,
Let's have a minute's noise for John.

So DJs rip up your playlists, remember better stuff exists
Now that he has left us how'll we save the world from Simon bloody Cowell?
Let's have a minute's racket, though he isn't coming coming back it
Seems we understand the need to play something loud and at the wrong speed.
Cos a minute's silence wouldn't show him how we feel,
Let's have a minute's noise for Peel

Had a good Christmas - friends and family over for Christmas lunch, so much food even Dog-Or gave up eating and waddled off to sleep (for about ten minutes, before coming back for more). Went and saw Happy Feet today, which was fun, although I was half-expecting an Al Gore cameo before the end of the movie.

And I have a shiny new phone, which plays "Tainted Love" when most people call me and other things for a select few. But I probably won't answer, because it also has a Tetris clone.

Warm fuzzies to you all. The last couple of years have been more than usually stressful for all sorts of reasons, but they've also shown that I have plenty of good and loyal friends who care about me. Go you!

P.S. Yes, Buzzy, my phone really will play 'Pico and Sepulveda' any time you ring.

P.P.S. Via [livejournal.com profile] jazzmasterson, how to play Scrabble.
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