Note to Dog-Or

- I know the best part of playing fetch is when you run away with the ball and I have to chase you to get it back*. I will happily chase you around the lounge/dining room/kitchen, or back and forth along the corridor. But I am not going to chase you through the doggy-door.

- You are not starving, so please DO NOT STEAL THE FISH FOOD. Srsly, WTF?

*He likes it best when I make "Raaaar!" noises and wave my arms around a lot.