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Annoyed a couple of weeks back: one of the NPCs in my D&D campaign is a priestess somewhere in her sixties. I wanted to paint up a figure for her, so I went by Mind Games in Melbourne to look through the miniatures...

It's always been easy enough to find female figures, of course. Granted, the ones who don't look like pole-dancers from a fantasy-themed 'gentlemen's club' are still a minority, but these days it's a large enough minority to offer a lot of choice. If you want a sensibly-armoured woman holding a mace, you should be able to find one.

If you want a woman over the age of fifty - or even thirty - that's quite another matter. There are, of course, any number of old men, ranging from a hundred and one Gandalf wannabes to any number of grizzled generals. But as for human women... a couple of Wicked Witches, and that's pretty much it.

This bemuses me. Some of the most memorable people I've met IRL have been grand old women. Even in fantasy novels, Tolkien excepted, there are quite a few. And the number of female warriors/mages/etc suggests that there must be plenty of openings for them in people's gaming universes... so what happens to them after they hit thirty? Do they all sprain their ankles and retire from adventuring? Do all those queens and princesses grow less powerful and important with age? Or have the Men of Gor stolen them all by then? In the end I went with one of the Ragnarok figures - a priestess who wears a full-face mask, so at least her age is ambiguous. For this particular character, that might make sense, but it's not really a universal solution.

And now that I'm done ranting, miscellaneous campaign fluff from my game.

Every so often I hand out a copy of the 'Free Trader', an in-game 'newspaper'. It's not meant to be taken literally; rather, it represents rumours the PCs might have heard lately. I got up to three issues before the PCs got themselves banished from the eastern territories:

*****

The Free Trader – March 31, A.C. 780.

Dragon in Benford – Seen Over Tryllon – 'Eighty Feet Long' – A Servant of the Traitor? – Shields Ready to Defend Us – Swords on the Hunt

Reports are filtering in from Tryllon that our soldiers serving in the battle against the traitor Alain, former Duke of Benford, have sighted an enormous dragon flying near the forests of Tryllon. Stefan Hartmain, a sergeant of the Shields of Mavri freshly returned from service in Tryllon, saw the beast on March 4th. He describes it as 'a monster without equal, eighty feet from head to tail, brownish green in hue'. Such a monster has not been sighted in Aramia for many a year, and its former whereabouts are a mystery; it is generally reckoned that it must have been living deep in the Tainted Lands, to have avoided coming to our attention previously.

There is great speculation that it may have been suborned by the traitor of Benny to use against the loyal defenders of Tryllon. At the very least, such a beast is undoubtedly a menace to life and limb. To bolster our valiant forces and ensure the safety of our loyal citizens, Bishop Hamish Montfort of the Shields of Mavri has been dispatched from Verinne with a finger of stalwart Templars. Accompanying him are five crack gryphon-lances of the Swords of Mavri, led by Sir Guy de Rochard; it is expected they will be tasked with finding and destroying the creature before it can wreak havoc. Scholars from the faith of Memeri and the University of Aramport have counselled brave Sir Guy on what he might expect from such a foe; it is understood that such creatures were much more common in the early days of Aramian settlement than they are today, although perhaps not so large.

Murder Most Foul – A Valiant Knight Slain – 'A Tremendous Struggle' – Child Kidnapped – Rebdanites Seek Apprentice – Distinguished Service to the Crown

Sir Hestio d'Hamling, renowned Knight of the Crown, was brutally slain in his manor on March 10th by assailants unknown. The crime was discovered by an apprentice who returned to the house after running errands; the scene was one of wanton destruction, and it is clear that Sir Hestio put up a heroic fight; it is to be hoped that he wounded his attackers before they brought him down. Compounding their crime, the villains appear to have made off with a young gnome, the son of Hestio's manservant; it may well be that he witnessed the crime.

Locals reported seeing two strange men heading westwards from Hestio's estate, pulling a wagon, but did not immediately realise anything was amiss. The apparent culprits are described as human, each about six feet tall, wearing nondescript grey cloaks. The deceased's apprentice followed their trail as far as Berdelis, from whence they reportedly headed south, but nothing more has been seen of them; it is likely that they have changed clothes and perhaps separated. The Inquisitors of Rebdan are looking into the matter, and have requested that said apprentice – whereabouts currently unknown – make himself known at a temple of Rebdan to provide a statement under oath regarding his finding of the body.

The deceased was a well-regarded figure with a long record of service. Originally a native of Balchester, born in A.C. 733, he apprenticed to the Knights of the Crown at an early age and was knighted by Magnus II in A.C. 752. He fought in the Mountain Wars against the half-orc Venishari who threatened Kedchester, and swiftly impressed all who knew him with his courage and perseverance. In A.C. 759 he wed Lady Ellen Martin of Kedchester, who bore him two sons; this lady, famed for her beauty and her generous spirit, was the niece of Sir Hugh Martin, who was at that time deputy commander of the Knights of the Crown.

In the same year, in recognition of his ability and loyal service, Sir Hestio was appointed to the Queen's Guard. At the outbreak of plague in A.C. 763, he was part of the escort accompanying Queen Elaine on a visit to Hilcaster; to safeguard the Queen, the party immediately made for Aramport, as far as possible from the growing plagye. Tragically, Sir Hestio's wife and children had remained at the family home in Balan's Bay, expecting his absence to be a short one, and it is likely that they perished along with so many other unfortunate souls.

In the wake of the Plague, Sir Hestio devoted himself to the reconstruction of the Knights of the Crown. Perhaps nine in ten of that noble order had been lost, some caught by the spread of its advance, but many voluntarily sacrificing their lives by remaining in the afflicted territories to keep order. Of those who survived, the vast majority were striplings still in training. Experienced knights such as the deceased were in short supply, and he threw himself wholeheartedly into the process of recruiting, training, and rebuilding. An injury sustained in A.C. 774 saw him hang up his sword, although he continued to be heavily involved with the Order, and occasionally to train apprentices. He also became something of a historian, and his book The Mountain Wars is considered the finest first-hand account of that conflict to have survived the Plague.

His funeral was held on March 15th, in the gardens of his estate, and many of his old comrades attended to bid him farewell. Afterwards, following a request set out in his will, he was cremated and the ashes scattered on an easterly wind. He will be sorely missed, and no doubt his many friends will see to it that his death shall not be unavenged.

[The abovementioned apprentice is Tylis, one of the PCs, who was chasing after the murderers...]

'Remarkable' Lost At Sea – Hailed near Isle of Pearls – Merchants Bankrupt – Ninety Souls On Board

The trader Remarkable, long overdue at Coundeke, is now believed to have been lost with all hands. The captain of Fairweather Jack reported hailing her off the Isle of Pearls on April 19th, but she has not been sighted since, and reports of fierce storms in the region suggest a likely cause for her loss. The Remarkable was carrying a cargo of dried fruits and fine silks from Carastor; it is likely that her loss may bankrupt some well-known businessmen of Coundeke. She carried approximately sixty crew, and is believed to have had thirty-odd passengers including the well-known halfling merchant Hamish Truefellow.

Plague in Berdelis

On March 12th, a suspected case of plague was reported in Berdelis, just inside the Clean Lands. The victim is believed to have somehow evaded the Shields of Mavri and entered the Clean Lands without the proper quarantine inspection; she was discovered in the town markets. A local commander acted promptly, containing all those potentially exposed to infection and escorting them to the quarantine facility in nearby Bordertown. The process was delayed by the absence of a quarantine inspector (the previous inspector having himself succumbed to plague), and a replacement inspector could not be provided until March 20th, considerably inconveniencing the cross-border trade. Fortunately, no further cases of plague resulted from this incident.

[Tylis had pursued the killers as far as Berdelis when he and the other PCs got caught up in this, which is how they met. It seemed like a less tired device than 'you all meet in a tavern'...]

Theft from Mavri?

Reliable sources report a to-do in the Temple of Mavri at Coundeke. Two senior bishops have paid a shock visit to the temple, and rumours indicate that a large sum of money is missing from the temple's vaults. It is unclear whether this is a matter of theft or merely an unfortunate accounting error; our sources indicate a full audit of the temple's finances will be conducted. More information will be provided as it comes to light.

[The PCs subsequently got to try to catch the culprits behind a second theft from another Mavrite temple, although they weren't very successful.]

Preparations Begin for Coronation

Although the Regnancy still has nearly three years left to run, preparations are already underway for the coronation of the young Queen Gerda. It is the first time such an event has taken place since the coronation of Magnus II in A.C. 735, and the church of Elera are doing everything possible to ensure it is a joyous occasion. It is to be hoped that the event will mark a new era for Aramia, a return to the stable monarchy of our forefathers after a long regnancy and the near-anarchy that followed the outbreak of the Great Plague.

Venishari Massacred

Chaos struck last week in a small Venishari village in Retin. The residents were reputed as a rowdy bunch of questionable loyalty to the Crown, prone to stealing horses and harassing Aramian citizens, so initially neighbouring townships made no enquiries when the Venishari villagers ceased to be seen out and about. But after several days' silence, a Mavrite patrol visited the village to find the inhabitants brutally slain, left to lie where they had fallen in and around their houses. Only a few survived, telling incoherent tales of a ferocious attack; it is unclear whether the matter was a quarrel between the Venishari, or the work of some outsider, perhaps agents of the traitor Alain. Constables of Rebdan are looking into the matter.

*****

The Free Trader – April 9, A.C. 780.

Dragon Slain – Heroes' Sacrifice – Trees Come to Life – Warriors' Funerals

The dragon of Tryllon Forest has been slain, but at a cost that will bring a tear to every reader's eye: in the confrontation, the renowned Sir Guy de Rochard, cousin to the Baron of Petwill, offered up his life in the service of Mavri, as did his brave companions-in-arms Sir Michael Kingsford and Lady Anne of the Greenhills..

On April 2nd, five gryphon lances of the Swords of Mavri arrived in Tryllon. Chief among them were the famed 'Mavri's Avengers', commanded by Sir Guy. They formed two parties and began an aerial search of the region; two days later, Sir Guy's party, composed of the Avengers of Mavri and Swords of Valour, flushed the beast from his lair.

The participants in that tumultous conflict were Sir Guy de Rochard, Sir Lionel Merritt, Sir Andrew Ryan, Lady Anna de Rochard (sister to the aforementioned Guy), Sir Michael the Thin, and Sir Luke the Stout, all of the Avengers of Mavri; and Sir David Wellesly, Sir Michael Kingsford, Sir Charles of the Lake, Lady Anne of the Greenhills, Sir Steven of Soresby and Sir Michael Dyer, of the Swords of Valour. As the more experienced of the two, the Avengers of Mavri led the charge head-on while the Swords of Valour circled to flank the beast and cut off the possibility of escape.

Rather than take wing, the dragon stayed on the ground, under cover of thick forest; while his great bulk allowed him to move through the trees as an ox through tall grass, our heroes were reliant upon the agility of their mounts to avoid catastrophe. Sir Charles tells us that the very trees themselves came to life and sought to snare them, flailing with great leafy boughs and scratching at the valiant Swords with thorn-vines.

Intimidated by the splendid panoply of the Avengers of Mavri, the beast turned tail and attempted to flee. The Swords of Valour broke its charge, but not without loss: Lady Anne stood her ground, driving her lance deep into the creature's leg to slow it, and was trampled to death, while Sir Charles was knocked from his steed and suffered a broken sword-arm, which nevertheless did not deter him from fighting on. As the Avengers closed, a vicious melee ensued. Sir Michael Kingsford was crushed by a mighty oak; some say the dragon knocked it over with a swipe of its tail, while others report the tree fell of its own accord, or perhaps by dragon-magic. While attempting to heckle it and distract it from his friends, Sir Charles closed in, sword-arm dangling uselessly, and the monster caught him under one huge claw, cracking several of his ribs.

It would likely have slain him then and there, had not Sir Guy thrown all caution to the winds and charged straight towards it. He abandoned all thought of self-defence, aiming his lance at the beast's heart; but even as he struck it, it lunged and snapped at him, taking his head in its huge jaws and gruesomely decapitating the hero – a tragic yet inspiring illustration of the risks the Mavrites take on our behalf.

Even in death, Sir Guy held his lance firm, and as the dragon lunged it drove the weapon deeper, into its heart; yet the danger to the others was not over, for the dragon's death-throes were terrible to behold. Two of the gryphons were slain and one maimed by its thrashing, and Sir Charles escaped only thanks to the valour of Sir Michael the Thin, who flew his gryphon under the beast's arching form to snatch Sir Charles from danger. It took many minutes before the forest was still and our valorous champions could pay proper respects to the fallen.

All three came from noble families, and Sir Michael and Lady Anne have been returned to their family estates for funeral rites, but the Avengers of Mavri elected to bury their late commander at the scene of his last and greatest victory. There he lies in the forest, a hero gone to his rest, and as long as he lies there we may be sure the followers of Mavri will never cede that forest to the traitorous forces of Benford.

[The PCs had met a couple of the abovenamed NPCs, and did some scouting work for them in return to a lift to another quarantine station.]

Battle with Benford Continues – Terrible Atrocities – Alain of Benford in League with Demons?

Elsewhere in Tryllon Forest, the battle against Benford's traitors still rages, and rangers of the Crown last week made a horrifying discovery: in a dark clearing deep in the forest, the bodies of twenty young soldiers lay scattered within a ring of stones, all horrifically mutilated in occult fashion too gruesome to describe. It seems likely that Duke Alain, or his cohorts, has been practising dark magic; it may well be that such witchcraft is to answer for the recent appearance of the great dragon. Although awful to think on, it is a stern reminder to us all that the enemy in Benford is a creature of unsurpassed wickedness who must never be allowed to consolidate his hold on the lands he has usurped.

Bear Saves Child – A Miraculous Rescue

Happier news from Astle: a child missing from his parents' home for nearly a week was returned to his home, carried in the jaws of a she-bear so tenderly that his skin was not even scratched. Young Jacob is believed to have wandered away during a wedding celebration, and was feared to have fallen into any of a number of nearby ravines; it is a pity that the lad is too young to speak, for we are sure there is a fascinating story behind his absnece and safe return. All that is known is that the bear brought him back to the very door of his parents' home, and set him down as gently as if she had been his own cub, before turning back to the hills where she was lost from sight.

Dwarvish Troublemakers – Lawlessness Beneath Verinne

For the last two weeks, the dwarvish settlement under Verinne has been plagued by violence and bloodshed believed to be the result of two dwarvish clans vying for control of the undercity's metalforging business. This conflict has severely curtailed the production of fine-quality swords and other metal goods in Verinne, and has already begun to cause shortages and increased prices.

Asylum Riots – Gnomish Spiritualist Escapes – Short Medium Still at Large

A series of riots has gripped the Baymouth Asylum, something all the more serious because it is chiefly used to contain inmates with dangerous magical abilities. During one such disturbance, the gnomish spiritualist Edgar Stenworth somehow managed to escape his cell and is now presumed to be at liberty on the island. Residents who sight Stenworth are warned to contact authorities immediately rather than attempting to capture him themselves; meanwhile, the disturbances in the Asylum continue unabated, the reason behind them unknown.

[That pun is probably older than I am.]

Unseasonal Weather

Travellers in south-west Verinal have reported unseasonally cold and wet weather this past week; at several places, the roads across the hills have been badly damaged by floodwaters and landslips. Travellers are advised to dress warmly and to seek shelter early if weather turns inclement.

[The PCs had already discovered this the hard way.]

*****

The Free Trader – May 7, A.C. 780.

A Fearsome Clash

Our brave soldiers took on the traitor of Benford earlier this week, in a pitched battle to the north-west of Lewton. The last month has been marked by skirmishing in the no-man's-land between Lewton and the Tryllon Forest; last Monday morning the two sides finally met in force. A large squadron of stalwart Shields of Mavri, many of them volunteers from the local area, held our defensive line intact under the inspiring leadership of Bishop Hamish as the enemy rabble charged. While the traitor's troops were locked in battle with our shield-wall, a formation of enemy heavy cavalry – hitherto concealed within a nearby stand of trees – leapt out of hiding and charged our western flank. But wily Hamish had foreseen the danger of ambush, and had already bolstered the flank with a company of stalwart Templars who stood firm and broke the force of the charge. Alongside them stood Sir Garrick the Red, a doughty old Knight of the Crown now in his sixties, but still a match for anything Benford may produce.

The battle was hard-fought, and lasted well into the afternoon before good old-fashioned Aramian pluck won the day. Seventy-five brave soldiers lost their lives, but over three hundred of the enemy were slain and our boys won the day – a good omen for the summer's campaigning.

Quiet Hero Slain

The death has been announced of Hugh of Woodsedge, a humble tanner who – it can now be revealed – had long acted as a loyal servant of the Crown, providing information about the enemy's movements; we think it may well be surmised that his intelligence-gathering played a significant role in the victory near Lewton. The circumstances of his death may never be fully revealed, but it is understood that he was performing a mission vital to the kingdom when discovered by the enemy; rather than flee and abandon his mission, he chose to stand and fight in service to the Crown. Alas, our courageous servant was overwhelmed and captured; undoubtedly he faced terrible torments at the hands of his captors, but we have it from a reliable source that he held out until the end, and that shamed by his courage they granted him a merciful death at the last. Hugh's tale is a stirring reminder that every citizen, no matter how humble of birth, is capable of greatness; the Queen has been petitioned in the hope that Hugh may be posthumously knighted.

[The PCs accidentally blew his cover and got him killed. They were subsequently tried for treason and various other charges, but successfully argued that their actions weren't due to disloyalty, just incompetence, so they got away with being banished to the north for a year or so.]

Asylum Riots End – No Sign of Stenworth

The riots at the Baymouth Asylum have at last been brought under control. Three prisoners who escaped have been recaptured, but the gnome Edgar Stenworth remains missing; it is thought that he may have fled the island by means unknown, perhaps to his home town of Aramport.

Norgard Harbour Clear

The trader Majesty arrived in Aramport on May 2, confirming that the summer thaw has melted the ice sufficiently to open the harbour at Frozen Bay once again, although vessels are still cautioned to beware icebergs in the region.

Verinne Troubles Continue

The dwarfish violence under Verinne continues unabated, with a string of tit-for-tat killings between the Stoneskull and Diamond clans estimated to have claimed the lives of over a dozen of the city's finest artisans. The town's constable Rory Apted has declined to intervene, describing the feud as "for them to sort out".

Temple Consecrated

Construction on the new Temple of Elera in Aramport has been completed, six months ahead of schedule, and it was consecrated two weeks ago, although work continues on the decoration – rumoured to include tremendous tapestries and a ceiling depicting the monarchs of our country. It is a splendid building of marble and gilt, and will be the venue for Her Majesty Gerda's formal investiture when she comes of age in three years' time.

*****

And now they're in the north, they get a new 'newspaper':

The Fisherman's Friend – June 2

“If it's fishy, we'll print it!”

Late Thaw

Records confirm: this year's thaw was the latest in almost twenty years. With fishing vessels unable to leave the harbor until the end of April, citizens were getting mighty tired of living on lutefisk. Still, it's better than starving! Early predictions are for a good catch this year, and remember: it's never too early to start salting and pickling for the winter!

Smugglers Ho!

Seems those bumbling customs men have been hoodwinked again: high-quality liquor from Coundeke, cheeses from Verinal, and even spices and silks from the south have been showing up in town without a penny of duty being paid. If you know who's doing it, tell Magistrate Llewellyn... or better yet, tell us!

Dragon Sighted

Reports from the south tell us that a great green dragon has been seen over the Tryllon Forest. Agent of Awful Alain, or just a roving monster? Only time will tell!

Noblewoman Missing

Lady Michaela Hayslip, visiting from far-off Verinne, has not been sighted since April 13th. She was last seen with her maid (also missing), down by the waterfront; although no sign of them has been found, it seems likely that the two may have been the victim of slippery cobbles and thin ice. A reward of 500 gold pieces has been offered by the Hayslip family for any information leading to the recovery of Lady Michaela's body, or 2000 if she is still alive.

Fishermen Lost

The fishing vessel Mermaid, which set sail last Tuesday with six men aboard, is believed lost with all hands after debris found on shore was identified as coming from her. Her captain, Thor Whitecap, was one of the town's best-known personalities, and will be much missed – especially by his drinking chums! Mayor Snorri, who once sailed under old Thor, described him as “the last of his kind”.

Memerite In Town

A masked priestess of Memeri, known only as 'Sister Delver', recently arrived in town on a ship from Verinne with an ogress for a bodyguard. What is her business in town? We'd ask, but we don't think we want to know...

So You're New

If you're new in Norgard, don't worry, there's lots to do for sturdy souls unafraid of a little hard work! At the Pickled Herring, down by the docks, you'll find fishermen looking for new hires. Hunters can find work in Seal Bay – any trading house will put you in touch with a caravan going north. Strong-armed lads are in demand at the logging camp to the south-west at King's Grove, and the Shields of Mavri recruit here for their border patrols at Northcaster and Torby Water.

*****


Oh, and: exercise since last: 40km, total 560km/336mi: 5th day from Weathertop. Slacked off during January, trying to get back into it now. Got 16km done while watching Day of the Jackal, which is still a good movie after all these years. Along with Princess Bride, one of the very few book-to-film adaptations that stand up alongside the original.

Date: 2007-02-11 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ambitious-wench.livejournal.com
Older women are relegated to fairy tales. We are the bent crones, steering the hero but never being the hera.

We are the givers of poison apples, running our houses on chicken legs and we exist in the ghost world as the mother who died giving birth to the beautiful daughter, leaving her to the harsh mercy of her evil stepmother, but do you ever hear about the neglectful father?

We are never simply plain. We are hideous or enticingly beautiful.

Rightly you ask, what happens to the Princess? She grows up to be the king's wife, and lives happily ever after.

You never hear about the social programs she starts, the decisions she has to make, the policy she forges.

More often than not, I suspect, she gives birth to the next heroine or hero, and retreats into historic obscurity. That's why you never see her form in lead, waiting for your paints.

Blame the f*cking Brothers Grimm. I do.

Date: 2007-02-11 08:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krfsm.livejournal.com
More often than not, I suspect, she gives birth to the next heroine or hero, and retreats into historic obscurity.

Or dies in childbirth.

Date: 2007-02-11 08:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lederhosen.livejournal.com
We are never simply plain. We are hideous or enticingly beautiful.

Reminds me of a little exercise I tried a while back, with a GURPS book ('Operation Endgame'). In GURPS, characters are average-looking by default; if you want to be prettier you have to take it as an 'advantage' and spend character points on it, if you're uglier than usual you get bonus points for taking it as a 'disadvantage'.

I went through the book picking out all the statted NPCs - there were about 20 of each gender, IIRC - and noting their appearance traits. Every single male, without exception, had average appearance (which is to say, the author left them all at the default). I think around 90% of the female characters had appearance ads/disads; most were 'Attractive' or better, though there may have been a couple of Rosa Klebs in there.

Granted, that was only one author, and most other GURPS books are better on that front, but there's still a lot of that attitude through the hobby. I didn't think it was quite this bad, though :-(

Date: 2007-02-11 10:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fluffy-cloud.livejournal.com
We should write a story or two with a kick ass older woman heroine.

The witches in the Diskworld novels are among my favorite characters (the luggage and the Librarian are tied for first).

Date: 2007-02-12 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harliquinn.livejournal.com
She wasn't an *old* woman, but certainly older than the Heroine norm. Ash by Mary Gentle is a place to start. But I have a personal fixation.

Date: 2007-02-11 10:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fluffy-cloud.livejournal.com
We should write a story or two with a kick ass older woman heroine.

The witches in the Diskworld novels are among my favorite characters (the luggage and the Librarian are tied for first).

Date: 2007-02-11 01:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wingedkami.livejournal.com
I'm sure many people would dispute whether living on lutefisk is actually better than starving.

Date: 2007-02-11 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lederhosen.livejournal.com
Quite possibly, but they weren't around to be polled in the spring :-)

(Well, actually, some of them are still around, but I won't get into the town's zombie problem just yet...)

Date: 2007-02-11 01:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lederhosen.livejournal.com
And since somebody is bound to ask, I will state that eating lutefisk has not been shown to correlate with necroanimation.

Date: 2007-02-11 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wingedkami.livejournal.com
How about surströmming?

And now I'm considering the potential uses of surströmming as a weapon within D&D. I think I might have a new excerpt from 'Unpopular tourist destinations...' coming up.

It's a splash weapon. Bludgeoning damage if it hits the target. Splash damage would be piercing damage from the flying shrapnel, nauseation in the same way as Stinking Cloud, and drastic reduction the target and adjacent creatures' charisma.

Plus if you're really desperate you can eat it.

Date: 2007-02-11 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harliquinn.livejournal.com
And in your free hand you wield a turnnbröd as a shield.

I wonder if you could wire a remote incendiary into the surströmming so as to minimize the damage to your own party.

Date: 2007-02-12 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lederhosen.livejournal.com
How about surströmming?

*wanders off to check Wikipedia*

*regrets doing so*

Date: 2007-02-12 08:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krfsm.livejournal.com
It's considered a local delicacy for reasons that utterly fail to make sense to me. About the only reason I can see for people to eat it is that said eating is a socially acceptable "getting blind drunk"-event (much in the same way as, say, Fridays and Saturdays are).

Date: 2007-02-11 02:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harliquinn.livejournal.com
I'm wondering if the size of most miniatures would preclude painting wrinkles. And if so, I'm curious if simply painting a mini's hair grey would have a somewhat-desired effect of inducing age.

Poor neglected middle-aged battle-weary women. Someone needs to make a miniature of Mary Gentle's Ash.

Date: 2007-02-12 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lederhosen.livejournal.com
I'm wondering if the size of most miniatures would preclude painting wrinkles.

Painting them on is beyond my abilities, alas. I can certainly get a weathered look with the right use of ink, as here, but that depends a bit on the figure and I haven't managed to achieve it with pale skin yet.

The other problem is that even if I could take care of the faces, the bodies generally aren't right - stuff like this, for instance, doesn't really look right for an elderly character. Still, I might be able to do something with some of the more static poses...

Date: 2007-02-12 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harliquinn.livejournal.com
Weathered look on pale skin. Okay if you're a gnome, where, I suppose, weathered doesn't mean "you've been out in sun most of your life." I think, on top of all the other issues surrounding trying to achieve a normal skin colour, you'd really not want to tackle that on top of if. (Of course, I've recently achieved Zombie grey, half-dead puce, and gris de la morgue all in the attempt to reach "normal skin"... I'm not one to talk of achieving a Normal Skin Tone.)

I'd say Mrs. Waverunner wouldn't be applicable to the Elderly Look. I'm thinking there might be others that might. Maybe. ...

Date: 2007-02-12 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harliquinn.livejournal.com
I'm Sorry. Bikini should NOT be an armour class. You're not protecting .... much. And it's all arguably vital.

Date: 2007-02-12 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lederhosen.livejournal.com
Wait till you see some of the options under 'race'... I know what they meant, but they could've picked a better descriptor name :-)

Date: 2007-02-11 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fluffy-cloud.livejournal.com
I love reading your DnD posts. It makes me want to find a good group. Do you think I could fly to over twice a month?

Date: 2007-02-12 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harliquinn.livejournal.com
Can we split a ticket?

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